Grandma for President

The sponsors of IPL have got it all wrong. The real followers of these games these days are grandpas and grandmas. We can’t blame them as, besides the cricketers and bookies, only they seem to have all the time for IPL cricket. So it did not surprise me this evening, at the dinner table when my grandma asked me “What is with this Sharukh Khan? Does he think he is the ‘badsha’ of IPL also?”

I:  Now grandma, the team Kolkata Knight Riders is owned by the cricket loving SRK. Last night I believe they won and he must have celebrated.

Grandma (G :) Celebrations! Bullshit. All the action last night, If the news channels are to be believed, was in the stadium after the match was long over!

I:  How come Grandma?

G:  After the match, they say, an inebriated SRK came down onto the ground and addressed all and sundry with the choicest Bollywood innuendos and raw Punjabi sweet talk. 

I:  Grandma, all that is what is known as ‘publicity stunts’.  This way everybody stays in the news, MCA, BCCI, IPL and SRK! Thus they make a cartoon out of all those who watch cricket!

G:  I get your point. In my company you are getting smarter. But son, cricket isn’t what it used to be. But all said and done IPL is entertaining and colorful with dance, party, Bollywood and fixing.  Yesterday I predicted a slower ball correctly and got a cup of tea from your mother!

I: How did you do that grandma? You couldn’t have fixed it.

G:  Ah son. I will tell you the secret. Don’t tell your mamma else I will not be able to earn my cup of tea. This bowler here has a signal for the wicket keeper to  indicate his next ball will be a slower one. I noticed this by chance!!!

I:  You watch too much IPL grandma.

G:  But what else do I do all day? The other day I tried watching Loksabha TV and there I found everybody discussing cartoons as if there was a National emergency. When I was your age MPs talked about  issues like privy purses, banks, wars, emergencies et al.

I:   But grandma why do MPs discuss kindergarten subjects in the house these days.

G:  They do not know anything else son. Do you expect them to discuss the census data vis a vis progress? Unfortunately majority of elected representatives are uneducated people who have criminal cases pending in courts. Other just do not have a clue about Nation building and governance. To them democracy is about winning elections by any which means. Period.

I:   Where is the country going grandma?

G:  Oh! Fear not. Make me the President and I will set all right.

I:    But grandma….

G:  putr..banake to dekh. That is the problem with our country…shai bante chunte nahim ham…..See son…these Defence people keep asking for CDS and stuff but when I become the President, as the supreme commander of the Indian Armed Forces, a power given to me by the constitution, I will exercise my powers.

I: But grandma...how can you……

G:   I will train my guns on the parliamentarians and ask them to behave.

I:   They will throw you out Grandma…..

G:   That is the point son…by then the damage (I mean un-damage) would have been done….thoda soch to lo!

I:  Grandma, you are a genius!