Friday, May 11, 2012

When Didi met Momma


My cousin Dorai was visiting India from the US. He is a retiree US citizen who makes an annual pilgrimage to his land of birth. When he is in India we manage an evening together. We discuss everything under the Sun including the Clintons. It was during one such sojourn early last year he mentioned the then relatively new US secretary of state, Hillary Clinton. Monika Lewinsky was not mentioned as she was a dead horse. That was when Dorai mentioned that Hillary C was a replica of our own Amma (Jayalalithaa J) - intolerant and determined. It would have been a pleasure beyond compare to be eavesdropping on the meeting between Didi (Mamta) and Momma (Hillary).
Writers’ building that houses the PB secretariat , is a massive red building which was originally built as a residence for the British East India Company's clerical and administrative staff called as writers, hence the name Writers' building. This building summarises the political revolution of Bengal. The Chief Minister's office is also located in this building. It was in this building the two met. As at times I can become invisible i listened in to snatches of the talks. 
Didi (D): Good morning Hilly welcome to PB.
Momma (M): Good morning Didi. Thanks. Congrats; you have managed to oust the dirty commies from power…an act as great as that of Rani of Jhansi.
D: Jhansi? Is it as big as Britain? The country still has a queen like in England eh?
M: Ok. Let us get to the point direct.
D: No…No… No…I will not discuss your direct investment in retail….
M: No didi…I mean let us directly get to the topics in hand…we do not have much time you see….
D:  What do you mean? In Kolkotta time stops when I say so.
M: Now that you are the boss, sorry, Didi I think PB is ready from investments from the US (hiding the fact that the US itself is  bankrupt and will have to borrow money from China or India to invest) …
D:  Yes, Yes. We have plenty of land too in Nandigram and Singur which I denied to industries from India.
M:  But I thought you were part of India and your party is part of the Federal Government.
D:  I know. I know. But if I behave like that they will kick me out before the next elections. If you don’t invest in PB, I will go to China.
M:   No. Please No. We the US are keen to invest in PB. The areas identified for US investment are IT, software sector, manufacturing, deep sea port, tourism, health care education and retail.
D:  That is not possible.
M: Beg your pardon.
D: Retail; investment in retail is not possible. If I say yes now I will not get money from the GOI nor will they underwrite my loans. 
M:  For a minute I was scared. That is fine. We will get into it through the backdoor. Then that is agreed. We will need publicity.
D:  That is taken care of. The Bollywood superstar Sharukh Khan is the brand ambassador for PB.
M:  Oh SRK. We know him well in US as well. What a cracker of an idea! Just send him to US when the chips are down, the immigration in the US will take care of his publicity. Splendid, Didi, splendid!!!!
D:   Yes Hilly, with SRK it seems US and PB are made for each other…
M:   One last request.
D:   Yes anything for you buddy.
M:   Why don’t you change the name of this building to ‘Talkers’ Building’ in commemoration of this historic talks between us.
D:   This way, Hilly and Momma was ushered out of the building quickly.

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